Monday, November 30, 2015

Pet Peeves: Shit I Don't Like!



While browsing Instagram today, I saw a bunch of stuff that just grinds my gears! Why not speak on them. 

This list is in no particular order. 

* People Who Don't Mind Their Business...

Now, I'm all for stalking an instagram page or 2, or 3 and I'll even participate in a little harmless gossip with the besties, but I don't get why some people care so much about the next person and what they are doing in their lives. What pisses me off the most is when I see it on social networks. Why do you care if that woman's apartment is dirty? Why do you care that that man is dating 2 women? Why do you care that someone shops all the time? Why in the hell do you care if the next man is broke? Mind yo business!! And if you're just plain ol nosey, do it in privacy. Don't broadcast how nosey and concerned you are about the next persons life. 

* Mean People...

Be nice. Putting people down because you have more than them says so much more about you and your ugly insecurities. Making fun of someone because they don't fit your ideal of what perfect is is just plain ol disgusting. Watching a pregnant woman or elderly person shift back and forth in discomfort on public transportation while you sit comfortably is just horrible. A mean person is truly just battling with their unhappiness and lashes out on those around them because they are miserable. Take some time to figure out where your anger and unhappiness is coming from. Once you find happiness you will spread happiness. Be nice! 

* Borrowing/Begging... 

I'm not sure if it's my pride or how nasty people can be when you owe them but I'm not asking anyone for shit. As an adult it's embarrassing. No grown up should be begging and borrowing before they try to do for themselves. It grinds my gears to see a grown man or woman asking for "a couple dollars". Go be productive and get your own. If you've exhausted all of your options and must ask for help then so be it but please, stop looking for hand outs and get your shit together. 

*Fake Friends...

Just stop. Smiling in his or her face one day and talking shit about them the next is for the juveniles. Carrying on fake friendships are major burdens. Always having to pretend like you really like them and are interested in what they have to say can become a full time job. It's ok to grow apart from our friends. Some people just end up going in different directions. Some mature faster than their friends. We are old enough and mature enough to take someone to the side and say "hey, it's just not working out any more". You can still be cordial and friendly but please stop calling people you don't really like your bestie/bff. Just stop. 

*Down Low Men... 

In this case,  a "down low man" would be a man who is publicly claiming to be straight/heterosexual but he is really bisexual and sleeping with men secretly *side eye* ... Lord, this issue makes me dizzy and nauseous. Don't do that shit, nasty!!!  These days, being gay or bisexual is accepted by most, including myself. Some of my very best friends are gay. So stop creeping around lying to women and putting them in danger just because you want your cake and eat it too (Smh, at those visuals). Just be honest. There are a lot of freaky girls that love that bisexual stuff. Find someone who accepts you for you and have fun instead of lying and hiding. Be honest! 

* Girly/Feminine Men...

This is MY list of MY pet peeves (not yours)  and I do not like feminine men!! I was born Muslim and raised in Brooklyn so I'm a bit extreme when it comes to girly boys. That feminine shit doesn't work for me. Getting femme mani pedis, gossiping, crying all the time, having women take care of you, constantly worrying about how you look, whining and complaining. No no no!  I don't even like men that dance or laugh too much. Just come out the closet and switch teams already. Leave us good women to the real men. Or Man up! 

* Adults with Bad Grammar...

As a sapiosexual and lover of intelligence and knowledge, I just can not stand bad grammar or bad English. My grammar isn't perfect but it still grinds my gears to hear or see it from others. I suggest you utilize spell check and google as much as possible because it's not cute and it annoys my soul. 

* Bad Kids/Bad Parents...

I don't care I don't care!! Get yo bad ass kids before I do. Bad parenting is at an all time high. Your 7 year old cursing like a sailor, your daughter twerking like a pro, your baby calling grandma mommy and calling mommy by her first name. You are creating our next generation. Be mindful how you raise these children. They are literally our future. 

* The American Way... 

The rich getting richer, poor getting poorer, cops murdering, ghettos underdeveloped, media brainwashing, evil sacrifices for the dollar, uneducated, unfair, unGodly, wicked, selfish, materialistic. So disgustingly systematic. So evil. So scary. America!! 

* Muscle Women and Men... 

I don't like it. It looks scary and unnatural. All those veins and muscles. Women looking hard. Men looking swollen. It's unattractive to me. Just NO. 

* Booty Models & Hoes... 

Fake asses and tits everywhere on the net and TV. I literally cringe when I pass a beautiful womans page and all u see are half naked pictures. Nothing left for surprise. Nothing left exclusively for your man? For me, when I see it, I see a person desperate for attention and "likes" by any means necessary. Seeking acceptance through social media attention. That's dangerous. Learn to offer more than just your looks and body... I just don't like it. 

* Materialistic People... 

We all know Bahiyah loves her Gucci, Prada and Chanel. I have been collecting Vogue magazines from the age of 13, and couture truly gives me goosebumps. I am not speaking of fashion and style lovers like myself. I am speaking of those folks who allow labels to define them and how they treat people. Rocking a Chanel bag and a bad ass pair of Louboutin pumps make these people feel like they are above and beyond any other. Looking down on others is just mean and, again, says a lot about your dirty character. Be humble and give back when you can. You never know when you'll run out of luck and end up on the less fortunate side of things. 

* Grown Ups Who Can't  Grow Up... 

Certain things are for certain age groups. There is a very good reason why we don't see 90 year old grannies in Daisy Duke cut offs and why we don't see infants going to clubs. Learn your lane and stay in it. I am especially speaking on women who fight in the street after puberty. And men over 30 who still hang out with their buddys all night smoking and drinking. Or the adult mother who still ends up in the club 4 to 5 nights a week. Elevate your taste and grow up. 

* Side Chicks... 

Listen, I understand sometimes shit happens. But I need every side chick to put yourself in a wife or "main chicks" shoes. Be mindful that you would never want the love of your life cheating on you. There are far too many to choose from for anyone to willingly destroy a person's heart like that. That shit hurts. Keep that in mind when you are sleeping with the next woman's man. Just stop it, nasty! 

Take some of these things in to consideration. I am not perfect or judging. I've also been guilty of many, if not all, of my very own pet peeves. But we learn, and we grow. I wish I had access to a list like this, from one of my respected peers,, so I've written one for you. 


The Chronicles of Bee Darling. 





Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Thanksgiving: Why Are We Celebrating the Genocide of Native Americans!!


Yes hunty, I am about to throw major shade on your stupid meaningless holiday. 

Even as a young child I never understood these weird American holidays, especially Thanksgiving. And believe it or not, it has nothing to do with being Muslim. It has everything to do with common sense!

Stop following EVERYTHING blindly, without knowledge and research!!!! 

So many of you (myself included at one point) have been celebrating these evil and sick holidays and don't even know what it is you are celebrating. Some of you are upset and want me to shut up because of your family traditions as well as the amazing times and memories we have. But our memories and traditions do not erase the fact that we are celebrating the genocide of an entire people,  The American Indians. 

After the European terrorists succeeded in violently robbing the Indians of their land, with their infamous leader Christopher Columbus, they had a feast to celebrate their victory. This feast and celebration is what we call "Thanksgiving". How sick and fucking twisted is that. What really blows my mind is that we have been celebrating this murderous holiday for centuries without even asking or investigating what it is. Humans are such senseless followers. It's disgusting. 


The same thing goes for Christmas, Easter and dumb ass Halloween. Have you really taken time to research these deeply wicked "holidays"? 

I totally understand wanting to hold on to age old family traditions. Thanksgiving, in a black household, was absolutely something to remember. Our granny who made every dish with an abundance of love, our auntie who always won the dance contest, the drunk uncle who told the best stories, the amazing outfits, the family time and the yummiest selection of food that would give anyone the itis and days worth of leftovers. Mmmmmm!! ... 
But fuck that, it's time to stop blindly following these idiotic holidays and start thinking for ourselves. 

Let's celebrate a day of genuine thanks one month earlier, on October 26th, each year from now on. A day dedicated to eating with our families while being thankful for them. Not a day celebrating the murder of an entire race. We don't have to give up our traditions but we certainly need to adjust what we are celebrating and why we are celebrating it. 

My message is to stop allowing people and things to think for you. Do your research and stop blindly following everything. Next thing we know, we will be celebrating a black slavery holiday called Nigger Day and no one will even take to time to ask what it is. We will just celebrate because we are told to? Smh. 

And wait, there is more. We have the nerve to spend all of our hard working money on materialistic things the very next day while arguing and beating eachother up like fools on what they call "Black Friday". Smmfh. 

We gotta do better folks. 



Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Good Eats: Butter and Garlic Shrimp Pasta



Hey loves... I'm sharing one of my quickest and yummiest meals with you. This takes 20 to 30 minutes and it's sooooo flavorful. 

Bahiyahs lazy Butter & Garlic Shrimp Pasta ...

 I usually start with boiling a whole box of thin linguine in a large pot. 

As the pasta boils, I take a large frying pan and throw in some red onions, pickled red peppers, fresh minced garlic, crushed red pepper flakes and a generous amount of butter (lots of butter). I cook these ingredients until the onions are translucent. 

I then throw some cooked or non cooked shrimps in the pan with the onions, pickled red peppers, garlic, butter and crushed red pepper flakes. 
On a very low fire, I allow the shrimp mixture to cook. 

As the shrimps cook on a low fire I go back to the boiling pasta and strain the water out. 

In the pasta pot I add another generous amount of butter, garlic powder and chopped cilantro. 
I mix it all together until mixed just right. 

The shrimp mixture only takes a few minutes to cook and should be done by now. 

*pause*

What you should now have is a pot of  linguine with  butter, garlic powder and cilantro. 
And
 a pan of shrimps with butter, red onions, pickled red peppers, minced fresh garlic and crushed red pepper flakes. 

*ok continue*

Take the entire pan of the juicy shrimp mixture and pour it on top on the linguine mixture and voila!

Sprinkle a little more cilantro on top as a garnish and make your favorite veggies as a side.


Easy, quick, yummy!! 

Grow Up! Why Being Promiscuous Is For The Youngins.


Don't listen to Amber Rose!! 
Being a slut is just plain ol nasty 
*makes stank face*

I'll only speak on it briefly. I'm mostly writing this because I know some of you need to and want to hear it. 

Sleeping with another person is so passionate. It's so incredibly intimate. Having relations with someone is such a mind blowing experience where souls and emotions and energy and vibes and yumminess is exchanged. I believe that having sex with someone is such a deep emotional connection where we actually exchange spiritual vibes and energy.
Now tell me, why would you want such an amazing vibe and energy swapped with some disgusting and possibly disease infested yuck ball?

People hardly ever respect or would ever take a promiscuous slut serious. So you're sleeping with, and exchanging bodily fluids with someone who would never even consider looking at you as a long term person in their lives. Tsk Tsk. Not sure about you but I find these facts extremely disturbing.

So now you've caught another body (meaning you've added another sexual partner to your list of partners), and you're more than likey stressed and depressed because another person doesn't want your community goods (community goods meaning, some pussy or dick that the whole community shares *side eye*).



As grown adults we should know better. We should be more invested in ourselves after a certain age and maturity. We should be feeling out or settling down with potential life partners. There shouldn't be a revolving door of partners. How can anyone have a steady life and future when there are tons of different people in and out of your life?

My suggestion is to be alone for a while. Learn yourself inside and out. Your likes and dislikes, turn ons and turn offs. Learn yourself so much that you'll know exactly what kind of partner would fit perfectly in to your story book called life. Get with that person and ride for them the way they should be riding for you. Be exclusively theirs and ask that they be exclusively yours. And then build together. Build for a peaceful and comfortable future. Your partner will appreciate knowing your goodies are exclusively for them. The love, admiration and respect that goes in to monogamous relationships is unprecedented.

So if you're in your late 20s/ early 30s and you're still out here sleeping with every one, just stop. It's nasty and dangerous and just plain senseless. Find you a ride or die and build together. And if all fails in looking for a partner, please don't become desperate and choose some random fool just to be in a relationship. Stay single and enjoy your self. Your life partner is out there and will find you eventually.

Thank me later!  

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Why Good Guys Finish Last


After telling my bestfriend a juicy story about,, some things, he suggested I do a blog post on why good guys finish last.

Sure, why not.

Now, there is no scientifically proven reason why, or if good guys actually finish last so these are simply my opinions.

I, personally, am obsessed with that bad boy persona. I'm a lover of the classic thug. Being born Muslim, I was surrounded by macho men growing up. Men who take charge and lead. Men who aren't afraid to use minor (nonviolent) force to assure they get what they want. I was also accustomed to women who submit to their deserving men. Women who would drop anything and anyone for their "King". This is a behavior that I studied and learned from childhood. I am very comfortable with, and believe in this way of thinking. Masculine macho men are dreamy. They don't take shit from anyone and command obedience and respect. A woman loves a man who can take charge and lead in any situation. It makes us feel safe and protected. Hence, why most women prefer a bad boy.

As a strong minded tough woman, a weak man wouldn't last a day in my life. A timid pushover male gives the impression that he can not protect or take care of his home. When in a relationship with a weaker non masculine male Or a "good guy", women tend to feel unprotected and not cared for (my ex husband *side eye*). History and tradition has conditioned our minds to believe the man is head of the home and relationship. If a woman suddenly becomes the clear leader in the relationship it begins to feel uncommon and uncomfortable. Hence, why most women don't go for the "good guy".

A masculine take charge man doesn't usually compromise. What he says goes. But, in my opinion, a true masculine man is usually right because he is knowledgeable and informed. So, he doesn't really need to compromise. A typical timid man is usually a pushover and is easily swayed by many things.

So, 9 times out of 10, when you ask a weaker and more timid "good guy" for something he'd say yes with no opposition. No leadership... 9 times out of 10, when you ask a masculine "bad boy" for something he's gonna say no and make you earn it. Or he'll say no because he's already thought it out and no is the best decision. For some reason, that's a turn on and extremely appealing to us women. The weaker "good guy" just comes off as that not so attractive nerd that we never wanted to date.

PLOT TWIST!!

Now, don't get me wrong. I love a nerd. I love a geek who showers his woman with love. I believe all men should spoil their women rotten and give her exactly what she wants, if she deserves it. I believe a man should be soft and sensitive when it comes to his lady. But he should never be a weak pushover like most "good guys"... This is my type of man. I like to call him a "sensitive thug". A perfect balance between good and bad. Never a pushover punk. Always in charge and taking the lead. But also sensitive and smart enough to make his lady feel like a prize. It's a balance most men can't achieve. A balance desperately needed in todays relationships. A balance that only a true "good guy" can accomplish.

And so, with that being said, good guys are the winners and will always finish first. We just haven't taken the time to realize that true bad boys are just good guys in disguise.

A-ha!



Side note: So my bestfriend read this draft and he said "Bahiyah, this doesn't explain why good guys finish last" ... Well, if that doesn't explain it then try google.

This is The Chronicles of Bee Darling.
My Opinions, My Stories, My Bullshit!!





Friday, November 6, 2015

Where I Wanna Be...



 Alone,  rocking a white tee with a super low cut v neck, with baggy camo cargo shorts, white Nike socks and gold Nike slippers, sitting on that fancy bridge with my feet dangling, classic navy blue fitted hat on, listening to Beanie Sigel 'The Becoming'on full blast through oversized Beats headphones, licking a chocolate and vanilla ice-cream cone with rainbow sprinkles as the Adhan interrupts Beanie to remind me its time to pray!

My opinions, My stories, My bullshit. 

Music: My Current "Emo" Playlist


HiYa!! 
Lately I've been extremely emo (emotional) and in my feelings. Between me falling for a new boy, the current state of the world, my steadily dropping imaan, and my finances, I have been all the way in my feelings. 

I've always turned to music as therapy and recently created a playlist that truly soothes my soul. Hopefully you'll find new favorites on this list that will relax you and help you escape from the chaos. 

Enjoy...

Alessia Cara - "Here"

Alessia Cara - "Outlaws"

Post Malone - "White Iverson"

Halsey - "Gasoline"

FTSE - "Float" (feat. Kenzie May)

Annie Lennox - "I Put A Spell On You"

The Hics - "Tangle"

Nina Simone - "Feeling Good"

Ed Sheeran - "Make It Rain"

Alina Baraz - "Paradise"

Vaults - "Premonitions"

Vaults - "One Last Night"

Sza - "Childs Play" (Feat. Chance the Rapper)

Daley - "Alone Together" (Feat. Marsha Ambrosius) 

Sofia Karlberg - "Crazy In Love" 

Lapsley - "Falling Short"

And my fave emo albums...

Alina Baraz - "Urban Flora" (Feat. Galimatias)

The Weeknd - "Beauty and the Madness" 

Dej Loaf - "#AndSeeThatsTheThing"
























Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Sapiosexual


Hey loves. 
I wanted to speak on being a sapiosexual really quickly. 

Definition of Sapiosexual :
(sā-pē-ō-sĕk-shü-ăl)
(n.) A behavior of becoming attracted to or aroused by intelligence and its use.

I've always had this slight anti human attitude. I found, and still find, people to be the most annoying and frustrating creatures. From a very young age I decided not to have many friends which left me lonely and bored. I immediately took to books as a substitute to friends... And there is where my obsession with intelligence began. 

I was completely fascinated and slightly turned on by the knowledge and intelligence between each page. Flipping through the encyclopedia excited me. Reading articulate and punctual sentences gave me goose bumps. At the time, I had no clue that sapiosexuality was even a "thing". All I knew was the more I read and learned the more excited and eventually turned on I was. 

Years later I finally found, and locked in a best friend who was semi sapiosexual and the adventure truly began. We would talk to each other all day with shitloads of inquisitive banter and lots of articulation, knowledge and intelligence. I noticed my arousal and was intrigued to learn more. 

*Note: I will not speak in depth about the sexual parts of my fascination due to being a practicing muslimah.*

I finally stumbled on the term sapiosexual and was uber excited to have a name for my "condition". I was also super hype to discover an entire sapiosexual community! 

Sapiosexuality is not intercourse or some over sexual raunchy thing. It's actually the opposite, to me. It's not about looks or physical attraction and intercourse. It's the attraction to a persons mind and thoughts. The way they analyze and strategize. A true thinker and lover of thinkers. Someone who thinks a philosophical conversation is foreplay. 
*clutches pearls*

The downside of being sapiosexual is I find it very hard to have conversations with someone who isn't extremely articulate and intelligent. 
*side note: I'm working on it* 
...
...

Just a little more about me. 
My opinions, My stories, My bullshit! 


Monday, November 2, 2015

Relationships... Don't Stay When It's Time To Go!!


Yes loves. I'm speaking on it. A lot of you will be uneasy but most will be enlightened and relieved. 

I am recently divorced, after almost 3 years of marriage, and it was by far one of the best decisions of my life. 

Let's start from the beginning...

When getting in to a committed relationship, most women are excited and feel like they've "won". After watching Disney princess movies during our childhood and fantasizing of meeting our perfect prince charming while living happily ever after, when we finally settle down and get someone to commit, we are over the moon and feel accomplished. The fact that it took a commitment from a man to make us feel complete and "accomplished" is the beginning of this centuries old problem. 

Now, here we are, in the relationship we thought we wanted since childhood. Society, along with our own desperation, makes us believe that we are now complete. As a woman who has wanted this moment forever, we certainly don't want to be incomplete so we begin to change. We start to compromise who we are to be who he wants and needs. Before we know it, we are miserable because we don't even know who we are anymore, while he hasn't changed much at all and is actually getting worse each month because we are spoiling them rotten. We are now accepting things that we used to find unacceptable. 

Classic line:
Friend: "Damn, your dude is a cheating asshole" 
Me: "Well atleast he's MY cheating asshole"
*side eye*

After a few months or years, we are now attached. Mentally, physically, financially and even spiritually. We now feel that we can't possibly let go. Some of us are being cheated on, some being beaten physically, some are mentally abused and just simply unappreciated... But, we stay. 

Nah!!

We are worth more. We deserve more. Fellas too, because these "new school bitches" are beasts and are currently manhandling men. It's not ok. 

It all starts with erasing this age old belief that being with a significant other makes us better or complete. If we knew how amazing we truly were, we'd appreciate our time alone so much more. We are so quick to share ourselves with someone else simply because we don't want to be lonely or alone. Fuck that! Why waste time with someone temporary when we could be spending that precious time on ourselves? 
*Lord I need to take some of this advice*

And now we are fed up. Stressed and depressed. Angry and feeling alone after all. We've wasted precious time... And then,, we repeat the process. 
*like, wtf*

I left. And I am so happy I left. I was scared to leave for many reasons. It kept me in a horribly dysfunctional relationship for years. But I found the strength. I left. And it feels so good. 

Now this certainly doesn't apply to every one and every relationship. I know many happy couples. I know good stand up women and mature responsible men. 
But I also have a sister who was in a mentally and physically abusive relationship for 15 years, I have a good good girlfriend who is married and miserable, I have a bestie who's been in an off and on relationship with "HER" cheater for 8 years, I know a muslimah who shares her man with cowives even though her husband doesn't take care of them the way Allah (swt) has prescribed, I know an amazing man and father who is verbally abused by his child's mother daily, I know a mother who shares her childrens father with multiple women just so they can see their dad regularly. I was married to a man who NEVER told me I was beautiful, never protected me when I needed it, never supported my crazy ideas, never even said my stew chicken was yummy, tuh! 
This message is for us. 

These are simply my opinions. 




Movie: 'Dope'


OMG OMG OMG!! 
This movie was made for me. 


I was told about this amazing movie from a trusted friend who said it was a "must see".
By the time I decided to see it, it was out of most theatres and wasn't yet on DVD or online.

The mad hunt had begun.
I searched and searched but gave up after a few days.

A few months later (yesterday), I decided to look "On Demand" and it was there!!! 
I immediately ordered the movie and from the very first 30 seconds I was hooked. 

I laughed and laughed and screamed and laughed some more. I was like a big kid watching cartoons on a Saturday afternoon. Even showcasing a classic "jump up and down excitedly on the bed" move when a really good part came on. Its safe to say I thoroughly enjoyed it. 

The main character, Malcolm, was a true star. His wit and intelligence, his snarky responses and over analyzed yet calculated moves, his love of old school 90s Hip Hop music and clothes, and the fact that he was a geek had me glued to the TV. 

The guest appearances were epic. ASAP Rocky was hilarious as the resident drug dealing gangster. Zoe Kravitz was the perfect female love interest and Chanel Iman was topless!! ... Yes lawd. 

What made this movie so special was the underlying message of equality, which snuck up out of nowhere. And the icing on the cake, for me, was the music and how strategically it was placed in the movie. 

Soooooooooo good!!
Watch it. 

Bee Darling approved.