Music: Alina Baraz & Galimatias, 'Urban Flora'

Emo Emo Emo!!! 

This is an album that I constantly have on repeat since discovering it almost a year ago. I'm an emotional creature and I love weird, deep emo songs. This album satisfies all of those cravings. 

Give it a true listen and I promise it'll be in heavy rotation before you know it. 

Bee Darling approved! 

Reading: 'Midnight' A Gangster Love Story... by Sister Souljah

Hey babes... I'm back with another favorite and I wouldn't be surprised if it's a fave of yours as well. 

I first read this book 5 years ago around my 30th birthday. It was a gift from an ex and I am forever grateful because it changed my life. I am currently reading it for the 4th time and it's still so darn good!! 

Although I was born Muslim, I didn't practice most of my life. I was a wild and crazy Brooklyn girl with "islamic/muslim roots". My mom, dad, uncles and a few aunts were practicing heavy in the 80's but a lot of them, including my mom, lost the religion before I was old enough to respect and adore it.

Once I completed Midnight, A Gangster Love Story, I almost immediately took my shahadah (an oath Muslims take to assure we are committed and believe in the Muslim way). My Muslim roots were awakened. All of a sudden my name had so much more meaning and I was so proud and happy to have been BORN MUSLIM. The way Islam was written about, the dedication Midnight had, the discipline and overall community feel of Islam was exactly what I needed in my life. The #1 reason I love this book is because it reintroduced me to my beloved Islam.

Another reason this book is a favorite is because of how flawless she made the main character, Midnight. He is by far the man of my dreams, lol. His maturity, his dedication to Islam and his family, his intelligence, his deep love for his lady, his strength and masculinity along with his height and dark skin complexion *swoooon*. Although he is a fictional character, Sister Souljah was able to capture all of the qualities I truly adore in a man. Midnight is simply dreamy.

I also love the fact that it's based in my hometown Brooklyn. It reminds me of my gritty yet adventurous childhood and makes the book extremely relatable as I recognize all of the areas and landmarks mentioned.

Lastly, I absolutey cling to the life lessons that are sprinkled throughout. Miss Souljah cleverly threw in dozens of gems all through the entire book.  I will forever cherish and use them all. I especially love the knowledge passed down by Midnights sensei. When he says things like  "move in silence" and "never underestimate your opponent " I am truly listening and taking mental notes. I am a lover of knowledge and this book has tons of it.

The way Midnight lives his life, the way he loves, his masculinity and militant demeanor has truly shown  me how I'd prefer to live my life.
Quiet, intelligent, loving deep and trusting no one outside my incredibly small circle will forever be the base of who I am,, thanks to Sister Souljah and a fictional, yet very life like, character named Midnight.

Bee Darling approved!!

Music: Dej Loaf, '#AndSeeThatsTheThing'

I am shocked and surprised that I actually like this album. Although, I love gritty, story telling trap music, this album is not something I'd usually listen to. It reminds me of all this new school rap that I absolutely hate... But I love it and I can't stop playing it!! Especially 'Butterflies'... It reminds me of bae, even though he hates Dej Loaf and her music. Lol. 

Driving to a meeting in Long Island with my business partner Crystal and she's blasting 'Back Up Off Me',, I was instantly hooked when Dej started chanting "Bitch, back up off me". I've always liked the her track 'Me, You and Hennessy' and I think she's absolutely adorable *swoon*, so I bought it, and I love it, and I can't stop listening. So, get it!! 

Bee Darling Approved!! 

Stalkers... And why you shouldn't be one!

 Hey loves... I have a stalker, and I'd like to speak on it quickly. 

stalk·er

ˈstôkər/

noun

a person who stealthily hunts or pursues an animal or another person.

a person who harasses or persecutes someone with unwanted and obsessive attention.

What are the odds that 3 of my friends, and myself, have stalkers at the same time?!? Must be something in those pumpkin spiced lattes *rolls eyes*.

I am speaking on this because I am tired of seeing women stoop so low as to want to stalk the next person. Especially when it's for a man. 

No No No Ladies!! And gentlemen too!

This behavior is unacceptable. My mom raised me to be a strong woman, never to let any one see me sweat, and furthermore never to let any one make me sweat. I would never ever EVER stalk or harass another person because I'm upset with a man. Lord, just typing the words made me cringe. I'm not certain if it's pride but, "I ain't gon do it"!!

Us women are indeed emotional and tend to act on our extra sensitive emotions but ITS NOT OK!! I am here to tell you amazing and beautifully worthy women that we are worth more than engaging in this destructive and incredibly unhealthy behavior. No man, woman, or child is worth emotional instability. I feel sorry for my stalker, a grown woman and mother. I think to myself "why doesn't she love herself and her life more?" and "why waste precious time on a stranger who has nothing to do with the original reason she is angry?". I feel sorry for anyone who is in so much emotional pain that they result in lashing out this way. I also feel sorry for her life and freedom if she ever took things too far *side eye*... You never know what kind of person is on the stalked side and may not realize that they may be a little crazier than the actual stalker. Food for thought. 

Being the stalker will never make things better. They spend day in and day out with a vengeful heart and mind which is draining and very negative. They may get hurt or lose their freedom, resulting in a lot of hurt family and friends. Lastly, no matter what, at some point in life when the stalker becomes mature enough, they will regret everything but can't take what they've done back. The stalker never ever wins, even when they are extremely convinced that they have won. 

Being a stalker is extremely draining and just plain sad. I am constantly saying "where is this persons family and friends?" and "why doesn't she value herself?". No one should ever spend countless energy and precious time on someone. You don't get that time back. 

So ladies, and gents, if you have considered stalking or are currently stalking, Bee Darling wants to say STOP THAT SHIT!! Go get a Mani/Pedi, start a business, treat yourself to an amazing dinner,pamper yourself! Go be happy and let go of the obvious burden. 

These are my simply my opinions. 

Music: The Weeknd, 'Beauty Behind The Madness

I have been a die hard fan of The Weeknd since the very first Mixtape, 'Glass Table Girls'.  He is a creative and musical genius in my eyes. 

I've been anticipating this album for years and it was well worth the wait. I love every single song including the obvious "Can't Feel My Face" & "Earned it". But it's the not so obvious that are my faves. As a bona-fide "Emo", girl my top 3 are "Shameless", "Dark Times" & "Tell Your Friends"!!

I was sold on the entire album upon hearing the "Tell Your Friends" lyrics "They told me not to fall in love, that shit is pointless"!! ... I mean, like seriously,  I felt that shit in my entire soul. (Love,,, tuh, I'll touch on that bizarre and completely confusing topic in a later blog post.)

So, get it. Asap. It's amazing. Lots of emo stuff for us emotional folks and lots of dance songs for us dance lovers. 

Leave your thoughts on the album below... Am I the only one who feels this passionate about this album? 

Speak on it! 

Netflix & Chill: Narcos

Completely obsessed!

Something about a shoot em up, drug lord flick that keeps me glued to the screen. I hated seeing Gustavo die but he went out like a true "bandit"... I hear there is a season 2 coming which makes me happy because 

I NEED MORE!! 

Bee Doll Is Back

It's been a while, but I'm back. Raw and completely unfiltered. 

Being raw and unfiltered means that you will get me in any mood that I am in at that moment. Most of the time it'll be emotional as fuck, sometimes it will be incredibly ignorant, sometimes it'll be quirky and weird, lots of intellect and knowledge, and other times it will be plain ol ratchet. Hey, it's The Chronicles of Bee Darling,,, my life, my stories, my moods, my feelings and my bullshit.

Still a muslimah but no longer married. Lots of changes but still Bee to the core. 

Let the chronicles begin!

Disclaimer : NOT FOR THE TIMID & WEAK!